Selfish

My husband has a selfish streak.  He laces up his shoes and runs out the door. Literally.  Or he clicks the chin-strap on his bike helmet and off he pedals for a two-hour ride.  He spends every Tuesday evening playing soccer in a co-rec soccer league.  And did I mention he has season tickets to the Sounders FC, which seems to me to have a home game every week for like 40 weeks a year?

How, you may ask, do I put up with this beast of a man?

As it turns out, it's easy.

He is as generous as he is selfish.  And he encourages me to be selfish too.  He is often the one to kick my distracted butt out the door and toward the gym.  He reminds me to call my girlfriends to plan a night out.  He thinks it's important that I take time for myself.

Of course, that's selfish too.  The happier I am, the easier it is on everybody - especially him, so it's a smart move on his part to give me a little nudge toward a more balanced life.  And I usually need the nudge.

It can feel like we're being selfless by putting work and family first.  But what if we're actually worse at our jobs because we don't give ourselves a break?  What if we're actually more stressed-out parents because we don't take time for ourselves?

Others have compared it to the flight attendant speech.  You know the one where they tell you about those floppy baggies that drop down if the cabin loses pressure?

"If you are traveling with a child, please make sure to secure your own face mask before assisting others."

It's true.  We need to be ok if they're going to be ok.  We need to take care of ourselves in order to properly take care of our families.  And the same can be said of our jobs.

More and more research is coming out to support the idea that making time for ourselves makes us healthier, happier, more highly-functioning people.

• Harvard Business Review researchers tell us that exercise, sleep and vacations help us be more focused and productive.
• Several different studies have shown that spending time with friends has as much effect on our health and longevity as not smoking.  
• And in case you happen to be a rat, the researchers at Princeton University learned that exercise can help rats deal better with stress.  I'm sure those robust rodents would make very patient parents to their tiny rat brats.  ("Yes, Ratbert, sweetie.  Just let Mommy change out of these sweats and then I can help you build a fort.")

The research is in: We're actually being generous to our families - and our bosses - by taking time for ourselves.

Wouldn't your employer appreciate a more focused, productive employee?  Don't you want to give your family a more relaxed, happier parent?

So go to the gym instead of folding the laundry.  Go to bed early instead of checking your email.  Go out with a friend instead of loading the dishwasher.  Do something you want to do instead of something you should do.

Consider this your free pass to get out the door and take care of yourself.  What's good for us is good for them.  Tens of thousands of flight attendants can't be wrong.